Suzanne Shaw reveals she has been on antidepressants for 20 years

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Suzanne Shaw reveals she has been on antidepressants for 20 years

'I'd want it all to just go away': Suzanne Shaw reveals she has been on antidepressants for 20 years and is now sober after drinking c

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‘I’d want it all to just go away’: Suzanne Shaw reveals she has been on antidepressants for 20 years and is now sober after drinking caused ‘dark thoughts’

Suzanne Shaw has revealed she has been on antidepressants for 20 years.

In an interview with OK! Magazine, the singer, who found fame in Hear’Say in 2000, admitted she has had days where she didn’t want to ‘wake up’.

Suzanne, 38, added she made the decision to give up alcohol in January of this year, after drinking caused her thoughts to spiral into a downward trajectory of ‘darker and darker thoughts’. 

Mental health: Suzanne Shaw has revealed she has been on antidepressants for 20 years (pictured last month)

Mental health: Suzanne Shaw has revealed she has been on antidepressants for 20 years (pictured last month)

Suzanne said: ‘I’m on antidepressants and I have been on them for 20 years, I came off them during my pregnancies but went back on them when I had postnatal depression twice.

‘If I’d had a really heavy night, I’d not want to wake up. I would never take my own life because of the kids and responsibilities, but I’d think, “Ugh, not another day, I can’t do this”. I’d pull the duvet over my head and want it all to just go away.’

Suzanne was just 18 when she found fame on Popstars The Rivals and formed the band Hear’Say with the likes of Myleene Klass and Kym Marsh.

Suzanne was just 18 when she found fame on Popstars The Rivals and formed the band Hear'Say with the likes of Noel Sullivan, Danny Foster, Myleene Klass and Kym Marsh in 2000

Suzanne was just 18 when she found fame on Popstars The Rivals and formed the band Hear’Say with the likes of Noel Sullivan, Danny Foster, Myleene Klass and Kym Marsh in 2000

However, she admitted she struggled with being in the spotlight as those who she thought were friends sold stories about her.  

The Popstars star has now given up alcohol, admitting drinking only made her depression worse.

‘I was tired of being fed up with myself. I would do two months of not drinking, then I’d go to a wedding, drink loads and it would creep back into my life and I’d drink more,’ she said.

Tough: Suzanne admitted she struggled with being in the spotlight as those who she thought were friends sold stories about her

Tough: Suzanne admitted she struggled with being in the spotlight as those who she thought were friends sold stories about her

Suzanne said every time she drank it took ‘a massive toll on my depression’.

Her thoughts began to get darker and darker as she struggled to see a way out and the hangovers sent her ‘anxiety through the roof’. 

In January, the television personality decided to do the One Year No Beer challenge and has stayed sober for the past seven months. 

Suzanne who has two children and is engaged to fiancé Sam Greenfield, said she prefers her life ‘so much more now’ and can’t see herself going back.   

The former Emmerdale actress – who has also gone vegan after turning to binge eating when she felt low – is now feeling much better about herself, saying she is less anxious and self critical.   

If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org. 

Struggle: Suzanne said: 'I'm on antidepressants and I have been on them for 20 years, I came off them during my pregnancies' (pictured with the band in 2002)

Struggle: Suzanne said: ‘I’m on antidepressants and I have been on them for 20 years, I came off them during my pregnancies’ (pictured with the band in 2002)

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