HOLLYWOOD’S elite will be quaking in their designer boots as comic Ricky Gervais takes the reins at his fifth Golden Globes tonight.
The movie awards ceremony in LA has previously seen Ricky make savage quips on Mel Gibson’s drinking and George Clooney’s penchant for younger women, as well as tackling the taboo subject of disgraced filmmaker Harvey Weinstein.
Ricky Gervais is presenting the Golden Globes for a the fifth time[/caption]
Here, Ben Griffiths takes a look back at some of the joker’s best one-liners . . .
GRAVITY is nominated for Best Film. It’s the story of how George Clooney would rather float away into space and die than spend one more minute with a woman his own age.
LOOKING at all the wonderful faces here today reminds me of the great work that’s been done this year – by cosmetic surgeons.
I HOPE I haven’t offended anyone. It’s not my fault. I like a drink as much as the next man. Unless the next man is Mel Gibson.
IT’S going to be a night of partying and heavy drinking – or, as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast.
SPOTLIGHT has been nominated. The Catholic Church are furious about the film as it exposes that five per cent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it: “The best date movie ever.”
(ON The Shape of Water) When I first heard about a film where a woman falls in love with a hideous monster, I thought it was a Woody Allen movie.
(INTRODUCING Matt Damon) The only person Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to.
ALL-FEMALE remakes are the big thing. There’s a remake of Ghostbusters. There’s going to be a remake of Ocean’s 11. And this is brilliant for the studios because they get guaranteed box office results and don’t have to spend too much money on the cast.
THERE were a lot of big films that didn’t get nominated this year. Nothing for Sex And The City 2. No, I was sure the Golden Globe for special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster. Great job. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza.
(INTRODUCING Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek) They’re probably very interesting. I wouldn’t know because I can’t understand a f***ing word they’re saying.
THE Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton: A bit louder, a bit trashier, a bit drunker and more easily bought – allegedly. Nothing’s been proved.
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WHAT you don’t know about Colin Firth is he’s very racist. I mean, really nasty stuff. I’ve also seen him punch a little blind kitten. Please welcome the evil Colin Firth.
HARVEY Weinstein isn’t in the room tonight. Don’t worry, he’ll be back in 20 years when he’ll be the first person to be booed during the In Memoriam segment.
(INTRODUCING Robert Downey Jr) Many of you people in this room probably know him best from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angeles County Jail.
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