DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD sex with my partner’s best mate every Thursday for a month.
It was stupid because I really love my boyfriend.
I’m pregnant and I don’t know if the father is my boyfriend or his best mate[/caption]
Now I am pregnant and I don’t know who the father is.
This friend always flirted with me. He has a girlfriend but never stopped making a play for me.
I asked him not to as I didn’t want to hurt anybody but he took no notice and eventually wore me down.
The guys are both 26 and I am 23.
I would sneak off to my partner’s best friend’s house for sex[/caption]
He kept on saying how sexy I am and that no one would get hurt.
He also told me what my partner didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him, that I knew I wanted it, and so on.
In the end I agreed to go round to his place — but just for a drink so we could talk about how we both felt.
My partner and his mate’s girlfriend are both in retail and work late on Thursdays.
So it was easy for me and this mate to go to his place when they weren’t around. Of course he talked me into bed once I got there.
The first couple of times the sex felt amazing. But after a few weeks I came to my senses.
My partner says we will have a DNA test once the baby is born[/caption]
I felt sick at what I had been doing and I told him clearly it had to stop right there and then.
During this time I was still sleeping with my partner as if nothing was going on. We’ve been together for five years and have a regular sex life.
My partner is over the moon about my pregnancy. I’m five months along now.
I told his friend too but he just shrugged his shoulders and wanted to continue with our secret affair.
I told him where to go as the last thing I wanted was sex with him.
Now I have told my partner about his mate. We are staying together and having DNA tests once the baby is born.
I so want the baby to be my partner’s and hate myself for giving in to his friend.
TEENS transitioning from children to adults will clash with their parents – but it’s not OK for them to do whatever they want.
My Troubles with Teenagers e-leaflet helps parents enforce boundaries.
For a copy, email me or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: It is great that your partner is staying with you, at least for now.
But is he only staying in case the baby is his?
Is he planning to leave you if DNA tests prove his mate to be the father?
Try to work on your relationship during the months you still have before the birth.
Popular Dear Deidre problems
Of course it was totally wrong of you to cheat but there must have been some shortcoming in your relationship for you to be vulnerable to his mate’s flirting.
If your partner can understand his own share of responsibility, maybe he could focus less on who is the baby’s biological father and more on how special you are as a couple – and how happily he welcomed the idea of having a child together.
Please keep me posted but, above all, I hope your baby arrives safely.
READ NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My partner of 12 years says she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to leave
READ DEIDRE’S PHOTO CASEBOOK Amanda is suspicious that her boyfriend is seeing another woman
Get in touch with Deidre today
Got a problem? Send an email to email@example.com. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.