I had my first child at 53 – I don’t worry about dying and missing key milestones like her wedding

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WHEN she met her soulmate at 45, Kimberly Rubin had accepted she’d never be able to give birth.

Following an earlier ectopic pregnancy, the TV producer had just one fallopian tube – on top of the difficulties of conceiving a child later in life.

By her mid 40s, Kimberly Rubin had accepted she’d never give birth to a child. Pictured now with daughter Sky
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But the 57-year-old, who lives in Calabasas, California, defied the odds to have her first child at 53.

Speaking exclusively to Fabulous Digital, Kimberly tells her story…

It was 2pm when I finally received a call from my doctors’ clinic. “Congratulations, you’re pregnant”, the nurse told me.

I screamed with excitement and immediately burst into tears. The wait for the results had been torture.

Kimberly fell pregnant for the first time aged 53
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I couldn’t believe this was actually happening to me. I was going to be a mum for the first time – at 53 years old.

I was 45 when I was introduced to my husband Nova Spivack, an entrepreneur. He was a friend of a friend, but we lived on opposite sides of the country.

I was running an environmental media company in New York, while he lived in San Francisco, some 2,900 miles away.

The doctor asked me why I felt I needed a surrogate. ‘I’m 52,’ I laughed, but he didn’t laugh along with me


Kimberly Rubin

We spoke over email for three months, before deciding to meet in person. It was love at first sight.

Nova proposed when I was 47, but I struggled to come to terms with the fact we might never have kids.

I’d thought I might adopt or meet someone who was already a dad. But Nova said he wasn’t fussed about having children.

When I was 48 and Nova 41, we married and moved to California to start a new life together.

Kimberly only met husband Nova Spivack when she was 45There, I met a neighbour who had fostered and then adopted three kids – but Nova wasn’t keen on the idea, and we didn’t discuss it further.

A few years later, on June 6, 2015, we were out having lunch for Nova’s birthday, with a group of girls playing near us.

Nova couldn’t miss the look of longing on my face. “OK, let’s try,” he said. I was delighted and literally jumped into his lap, hugging him.

I had an ectopic pregnancy in my early forties, so I only had one fallopian tube


Kimberly Rubin

I started looking into adoption, but then Nova’s brother became a dad. As soon as Nova met the baby, he felt an intense bond.

He said he wanted our child to be biologically his, so I turned my attention to surrogacy. At that point, it never occurred to me I could carry our child.

I had an ectopic pregnancy in my early forties, so I only had one fallopian tube. I’d also had surgery to remove my thyroid a couple of years earlier.

BECOMING AN OLDER MUM: THE FACTS

The age at which women have their first child is rising.

Here in England, the average mum is just over 30 when she conceives her first child, while many are much older.
One in five births are now to a woman over 35.

Most couples will get pregnant within a year of trying for a baby.

The stats are 92% for 19 to 26-year-olds and 82% for 35 to 39-year-olds.

Women get less fertile as they age, and one in seven couples in the UK have fertility issues.

There is a higher risk of certain complications in mums over the age of 40.

Both miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy are more common.

By 45, a mum has a 50 per cent chance of miscarrying if the baby is conceived naturally with your own eggs.

This risk drops if you use donor eggs, like Kimberly.

In a follow-up appointment, I told my endocrinologist about our surrogacy plans.

He said I should speak to his colleague Dr Najmabadi, a fertility doctor who worked in the same building.

When we met, the doctor asked me why I felt I needed a surrogate. “I’m 52,” I laughed, but he didn’t laugh along with me. I also explained about my ectopic pregnancy.

“You just need a healthy uterus,” he replied. “You look young and have a young spirit.

“I’ll give up my lunch break and give you a quick examination if you want?”

The couple conceived their child via egg donation
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It felt so surreal. I was taken into another room, where they filled my uterus with water to see if there were any cysts or fibroids (non-cancerous growths) inside.

When he finished the exam, Dr Najmabadi looked at me and smiled. “My dear, you have a beautiful uterus,” he said. I started crying, I couldn’t believe it.

I’d always dreamed of getting pregnant again – and had only just given my maternity clothes away. I hung onto them for years, but had finally admitted it was never going to happen.

ECTOPIC PREGNANCY: THE FACTS

An ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilised egg implants itself outside the womb, usually in one of the fallopian tubes.

The fallopian tubes are the tubes connecting the ovary to the womb.

If an egg gets stuck there, it won’t develop into a baby and may put your health at risk if the pregnancy continues.

The egg will have to be removed using medicine or surgery.

In the UK, around one in every 90 pregnancies is ectopic, 11,000 a year.

Symptoms include tummy pain low down on one side, vaginal bleeding/brown discharge, a pain in the tip of your shoulder, and discomfort when peeing or pooing.

These normally develop between the fourth and 12th week of pregnancy, although some women have no symptoms.

I went home elated, but scared Nova would say no.

I had already been ill and carrying a baby would be a further strain on my body. But he surprised me. “Let’s go for it,” he said.

Because of my thyroid issues, I had no viable eggs, so we looked into donation.

It was very stressful trying to find the right person, a bit like online dating.

I thought about asking my nieces, who were in their twenties, but thought that was too weird.

Then I considered our dog walker, who’s now 23. She didn’t even hesitate before saying yes.

Kimberly says she doesn’t look or feel her age
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Dr Najmabadi extracted her eggs and joined them with Nova’s sperm. It takes three to five days to form an embryo.

But on the second day, we got a call from the doctor. “I just want to prepare you, it’s not looking good,” he said. I broke down, sobbing.

Nova tried to comfort me. “It’s OK honey, we can try again,” he said, but I knew I wasn’t strong enough.

Two days later, we were woken by a call at 6am. “Get in the car, I have two healthy embryos which need to be transferred straight away,” the doctor told me.

EGG DONATION: THE FACTS

If you or your partner has a fertility problem, egg donation may help you conceive.

The treatment is normally carried out via IVF.

It’s available on the NHS, but not everyone is eligible and waiting lists are often very long.

Here in Britain, egg donors can receive up to £750 in compensation per cycle, but it’s illegal to pay for eggs.

If you choose to go private, the average total cost is £8,900.

IVF does not have a guaranteed success rate.

Success rates are:

  • Under 35: 29%
  • 35-37: 23%
  • 38-39: 15%
  • 40-42: 9%
  • 43-44: 3%
  • over 44: 2%

We sprang out of bed and raced to the car.

Dr Najmabadi transferred the embryos and told me to go home and rest for 12 days. Thankfully, everything went to plan.

My pregnancy was far from easy. For the first four-and-a-half months, I was horribly sick morning, evening and night. Some days, I would vomit 12 times.

I broke down, sobbing. Nova tried to comfort me. ‘It’s OK honey, we can try again,’ he said, but I knew I wasn’t strong enough


Kimberly Rubin

Aside from my closest friends, I didn’t tell anyone I was pregnant until I reached six months. I hardly left the house.

At 38 weeks, my obstetrician said the baby wasn’t growing enough – and advised me to have a sweep to bring on the labour.

Our daughter, Sky, was born on November 1 2015, weighing 5lb 11oz. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. Sky is perfect and healthy, the greatest gift ever.

Kimberly says Sky is a perfect miracle baby
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Some people tell me I am too old to be a mum, but I feel and look younger than most people in their 40s. People are normally shocked when I tell them my age.

There will always be people who say ‘she will be 70 when her daughter leaves school’, but that doesn’t bother me.

It is physically challenging being an older mum. I’ve lived a very independent life, I’ve had to adapt to Sky coming first. You do have to make sacrifices, but it’s worth it.

There will always be people who say ‘she will be 70 when her daughter leaves school’, but that doesn’t bother me


Kimberly Rubin

I don’t worry about missing anything. Some people live into their hundreds, others die young.

My milestones with Sky may be different to other parents’ – I’ve seen her start pre-school, she’s had her fourth birthday.

If she gets married young, I may have the opportunity to be a grandmother. If it’s meant to be, it will happen.


Every night when I kiss Sky goodnight, I tell her how long I waited for her and how much she is loved.

I feel so blessed every day. I want to inspire other women, anything is possible.

Yesterday, we revealed this Thursday is the most popular day for babies to be born – thanks to Boxing Day sex sessions.

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