ALEX MICHAEL recaps Big Brother: Sophie and Chad get engaged

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ALEX MICHAEL recaps Big Brother: Sophie and Chad get engaged

 Turns out I'm not the only one sick of staring at all these talent-less bogans for hours on end.On Sunday, Big Brother threw the housemates into p

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 Turns out I’m not the only one sick of staring at all these talent-less bogans for hours on end.

On Sunday, Big Brother threw the housemates into packaging boxes in an attempt to get some peace and quiet.

It ended with a bang, followed by an engagement. 

Out of sight: On Sunday, Big Brother threw the housemates into packaging boxes in an attempt to get some peace and quiet. It ended with a bang, followed by an engagement

Out of sight: On Sunday, Big Brother threw the housemates into packaging boxes in an attempt to get some peace and quiet. It ended with a bang, followed by an engagement

World’s Most Boring Bromance 

Bromance of the century: The lighthearted opening segments continue to struggle under the weight of the cast's mediocrity. On Sunday, it was Daniel's quest to start a bromance with Mat

Bromance of the century: The lighthearted opening segments continue to struggle under the weight of the cast’s mediocrity. On Sunday, it was Daniel’s quest to start a bromance with Mat

The lighthearted opening segments continue to struggle under the weight of the remaining cast’s mediocrity.

On Sunday, it was Daniel’s quest to start a bromance with Mat.

Daniel: ‘Yeah, I’m trying to start a bromance with Mat.’

Big Brother: ‘Yep.’

Daniel: ‘You got any advice, or?’

Big Brother: ‘Nope’

Daniel: ‘You think if I got an eyebrow piercing he’d be hot for that or nah?’

Daniel:'Yeah, I'm trying to start a bromance with Mat.' Big Brother:'Yep.' Daniel:'You got any advice, or?' Big Brother:'Nope'. Daniel:'Reckon I should get an eyebrow piercing?'

Daniel: ‘Yeah, I’m trying to start a bromance with Mat.’ Big Brother: ‘Yep.’ Daniel: ‘You got any advice, or?’ Big Brother: ‘Nope’. Daniel: ‘Reckon I should get an eyebrow piercing?’

This is when Daniel discovered that just like a limo driver, Big Brother has a partition he can put up when people are starting to bore him.

Daniel: ‘Hello? Hello? Hell… Oooh a mini-bar!’

Take the hint: This is when Daniel discovered that just like a limo driver, Big Brother has a partition he can put up when people are starting to bore him. Daniel: 'Hello? Hello? Hell... Oooh a mini-bar!'

Take the hint: This is when Daniel discovered that just like a limo driver, Big Brother has a partition he can put up when people are starting to bore him. Daniel: ‘Hello? Hello? Hell… Oooh a mini-bar!’

The Nasser Sultan Protocol 

Prepare to be partitioned: 'Far out, how's the serenity?' beamed Big Brother, who realised he should have been doing this partition thing since day one.'Pity I can't just do it to all of them at once.' Turned out that thought was more of a light bulb than a dead end.

Prepare to be partitioned: ‘Far out, how’s the serenity?’ beamed Big Brother, who realised he should have been doing this partition thing since day one. ‘Pity I can’t just do it to all of them at once.’ Turned out that thought was more of a light bulb than a dead end.

‘Far out, how’s the serenity?’ beamed Big Brother, who realised he should have been doing this partition thing since day one.

‘Pity I can’t just do it to all of them at once.’

Turned out that thought was more of a light bulb than a dead end.

Big Brother: ‘Housemates, this week your gourmet food challenge is simple… you see those boxes with your faces on them?’

Big Brother:'Housemates, this week your gourmet food challenge is simple... you see those boxes with your faces on them?'

Big Brother: ‘Housemates, this week your gourmet food challenge is simple… you see those boxes with your faces on them?’ 

Housemates:'No way in hell are we going in there.'

Big Brother:'What if I told you that underneath each box is a single use Blue Tick verification code?'

Housemates: ‘No way in hell are we going in there.’ Big Brother: ‘What about if I told you that underneath each box is a single use Blue Tick verification code?’

Housemates: ‘No way in hell are we going in there.’

Big Brother: ‘What if I told you that underneath each box is a single use Blue Tick verification code?’  

This got them moving like a stampede of stupidity; the sound of flogs on cardboard; wet blankets slapping paper; a bunch of empty vessels… and their boxes. How long do you have? I can do these all day.

Props to Big Brother for utilising the old ‘bugger off under the box’ trick – the exact same method Instagram used to get Nasser Sultan off their back.

‘If you can’t kill it, conceal it’ — Mark Zuckerberg.

OMFG A BLUE TICK? This got them moving like a stampede of stupidity; the sound of flogs on cardboard; wet blankets slapping paper; a bunch of empty vessels... and their boxes. How long do you have? I can do these all day

OMFG A BLUE TICK? This got them moving like a stampede of stupidity; the sound of flogs on cardboard; wet blankets slapping paper; a bunch of empty vessels… and their boxes. How long do you have? I can do these all day

Credit where credit's due: Props to Big Brother for utilising the old'bugger off under the box' trick - the exact same method Instagram used to get Nasser Sultan off their back

Credit where credit’s due: Props to Big Brother for utilising the old ‘bugger off under the box’ trick – the exact same method Instagram used to get Nasser Sultan off their back

What’s In The Box 

Post Office Story: For the next thirty minutes we were treated to cardboard boxes having pointless conversations with each other. It was like if Toy Story was set in a post office

Post Office Story: For the next thirty minutes we were treated to cardboard boxes having pointless conversations with each other. It was like if Toy Story was set in a post office

For the next thirty minutes we were treated to cardboard boxes having pointless conversations with each other. 

It was like if Toy Story was set in a post office.

Just minutes in, Sophie chucked a tizzy and started trying to tunnel out of the box she was placed in with Casey.

Sarah: ‘Wooh! My boyfriend is going to be so jealous! I get to go in a box with The Chad.’

Box 1: Sarah:'Wooh! My boyfriend is going to be so jealous! I get to go in a box with The Chad'

Box 1: Sarah: ‘Wooh! My boyfriend is going to be so jealous! I get to go in a box with The Chad’

Sophie: ‘This is BS! The Chad’s my ride or die, why can’t WE share a box?’

Big Brother: ‘Because the budget’s been cut and we need these boxes back before Pete Evans comes to collect all his salt lamps and dinosaur eggs!’ 

Sophie: ‘What’s your point?’

Big Brother: ‘If we leave you and The Chad in there we’ll have a soiled box. You can’t give Pete Evans a soiled box! He’ll think it’s a message from Space God 9 or some s**t’.

Box 2: Sophie:'This is BS! The Chad's my ride or die, why can't WE share a box?'

Box 2: Sophie: ‘This is BS! The Chad’s my ride or die, why can’t WE share a box?’

Big Brother:'Because the budget's been cut and we need these boxes back before Pete Evans comes to collect all his salt lamps and dinosaur eggs!' Sophie:'What's your point?'

Big Brother: ‘Because the budget’s been cut and we need these boxes back before Pete Evans comes to collect all his salt lamps and dinosaur eggs!’ Sophie: ‘What’s your point?’

Sophie: ‘What’s your point?’ 

Big Brother: ‘Look, now that I’ve said it out loud it’s kind of hilarious. Housemates! Feel free to soil your boxes!’

Daniel and Mat won after a good six hours of soiling. 

Okay, this is nothing like Toy Story.   

Let the soiling begin! Big Brother:'Look, now that I've said it out loud it's kind of hilarious. Housemates! Feel free to soil your boxes!'

Let the soiling begin! Big Brother: ‘Look, now that I’ve said it out loud it’s kind of hilarious. Housemates! Feel free to soil your boxes!’

Six Hours Later 

Six hours later: The Chad:'Soph! It's dark and empty in here, I'm scared!' Sophie:'What are you talking about The Chad? We're not in the boxes anymore, the challenge ended hours ago?'

Six hours later: The Chad: ‘Soph! It’s dark and empty in here, I’m scared!’ Sophie: ‘What are you talking about The Chad? We’re not in the boxes anymore, the challenge ended hours ago?’

The Chad: ‘Soph! It’s dark and empty in here, I’m scared!’ 

Sophie: ‘What are you talking about The Chad? We’re not in the boxes anymore, the challenge ended hours ago?’

The Chad: ‘No, babe. I mean in here *points to his lungs* will u marry me?’ 

Sophie: ‘Do you have the COVID or are you trying to point to your heart?’

The Chad: ‘I don’t understand the question?’

I mean here: The Chad:'No, babe. I mean in here *points to his lungs* will u marry me?' Sophie:'Do you have COVID or are you trying to point to your heart?'

I mean here: The Chad: ‘No, babe. I mean in here *points to his lungs* will u marry me?’ Sophie: ‘Do you have COVID or are you trying to point to your heart?’

Sophie: ‘I do.’

The Chad: ‘You marry me, or you understand the question?’ 

JESUS CHRIST YOU’RE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER JUST DO IT.

Sophie: ‘I meant the question but sure let’s get married. Sophie wants some of that Angie and Carlin fauxmance action.’ 

Truthfully what happened was Sophie randomly announced her engagement to The Chad but we didn’t see when or how. I filled in the blanks. You’re welcome. 

The Chad:'I don't understand the question?' Sophie:'I do.' The Chad:'You marry me, or you understand the question?'

The Chad: ‘I don’t understand the question?’ Sophie: ‘I do.’ The Chad: ‘You marry me, or you understand the question?’

Screw it, let's do it: Sophie:'I meant the question but sure let's get married. Sophie wants some of that Angie and Carlin fauxmance action'

Screw it, let’s do it: Sophie: ‘I meant the question but sure let’s get married. Sophie wants some of that Angie and Carlin fauxmance action’

Shane On You

More boxes? For some insane reason the eviction challenge also involved boxes

Mat won. He nominated Angela, Shane and Marissa.

For some insane reason the eviction challenge also involved boxes. Mat won. He nominated Angela, Shane and Marissa.

For some insane reason the eviction challenge also involved boxes. Mat won.

He nominated Angela, Shane and Marissa.

Once again the reject group thought they had the numbers to evict Angela and save Shane.

But once again, Sophie and The Chad are members, so they did not. Bye Shane! 

Don't worry, you're safe! Once again the reject group thought they had the numbers to evict Angela and save Shane

Don’t worry, you’re safe! Once again the reject group thought they had the numbers to evict Angela and save Shane

Bye! But once again, Sophie and The Chad are members, so they counted wrong. Bye Shane!

Bye! But once again, Sophie and The Chad are members, so they counted wrong. Bye Shane!

 

 

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