ALEX MICHAEL recaps Big Brother: Daniel breaks down as his secret ex crashes the show

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ALEX MICHAEL recaps Big Brother: Daniel breaks down as his secret ex crashes the show

As a failed AFL star, Daniel Gorringe is used to whiffing on his goals.He wanted to marry his beloved on-off girlfriend Anna, got dumped over an 'i

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As a failed AFL star, Daniel Gorringe is used to whiffing on his goals.

He wanted to marry his beloved on-off girlfriend Anna, got dumped over an ‘immature act’ and decided to chase reality TV fame instead.

Big Brother finally threw Daniel a bone on Tuesday – a rare act of kindness, justified only by the glorious cruelty he would later inflict on the rest of the house.

Damned, Daniel: After spending the past week crying about his on-off girlfriend Anna -'the one that ran away' - Big Brother was forced to throw him a bone to save the ratings on Tuesday

Damned, Daniel: After spending the past week crying about his on-off girlfriend Anna – ‘the one that ran away’ – Big Brother was forced to throw him a bone to save the ratings on Tuesday

Damned, Daniel

Faced with the prospect of losing even more viewers to MasterChef, Big Brother was forced to call Daniel to the diary room

Faced with the prospect of losing even more viewers to MasterChef, Big Brother was forced to call Daniel to the diary room 

‘Far out!’ bemoaned Big Brother. ‘Daniel! To the diary room!’   

‘You’ll have to kill me!’ came a soft squeak from human-sized blanket fort in the bedroom.

Big Brother: ‘Mate, you sound like a mouse in a thunderstorm, come out from under the doonas. I’ve got a surprise for you!’

It took another three hours of convincing and a candy apple, but Daniel eventually agreed to move his tantrum to the diary room.

Big Brother: ‘What’s going on? Ever since you got that letter from Anna, you’ve been sobbing all over the place.’

Big Brother:'What's going on? Ever since you got that letter from Anna (on Sunday) you've been sobbing all over the place.'

Big Brother: ‘What’s going on? Ever since you got that letter from Anna (on Sunday) you’ve been sobbing all over the place.’

Daniel: ‘I miss her so much. She dumped me because of my immaturity. I went on here to show her I’d changed.’

Big Brother: ‘Right. Because nothing says “maturity’ like parading yourself around half-naked for 15 minutes of fame.’

Daniel: ‘That’s what Anna said too! She’s so smart. She’s so beautiful. Terrible memory though – always losing my phone number.’

Daniel:'I miss her so much. She dumped me because of my immaturity. I went on here to show her I'd changed'

Daniel: ‘I miss her so much. She dumped me because of my immaturity. I went on here to show her I’d changed’

Big Brother: ‘Look, we can’t lose any more viewers to MasterChef, so we’ve managed to track her down for a Zoom call. She has a message for you.’

Daniel perked up like a 17-year-old on Coachella lineup day, bounding into the lounge room to reunite with the one that ran away.

The housemates cheered when Anna popped up on the big screen – because you can’t have an emotional reunion without nine near-strangers to support you.

Big Brother:'Look, we can't lose any more viewers to MasterChef, so we've managed to track her down for a Zoom call. She has a message for you'

Big Brother: ‘Look, we can’t lose any more viewers to MasterChef, so we’ve managed to track her down for a Zoom call. She has a message for you’

Anna’s Letter To Daniel 

 Daniel’s been sobbing ever since the housemates received letters from the outside on Sunday.  I snuck onto set and stole Anna’s letter:

 Dear Daniel, I just wanted to let you know that your stuff is available for collection at the Kennard’s Self-Storage on Parramatta Road, across the road from Audio Connection and Designer Rugs. Locker combination is the day and month of our first date. You remember when that is right? LOL.                                PS I was going to throw out your clothes but my new boyfriend Damian said he’d take them. He fills them out a lot better as he is RIPPED. Anna xo  

Daniel: ‘Oh MY GOD! My Annie! Ann-Na-Na! I was lost and now I’m found! Tell them all you love me! Tell them!’

Anna face-palmed for what felt like an hour. 

Anna: ‘Umm. I love you?’

Really backed her into a corner there Daniel. Very brave.

Daniel:'Oh MY GOD! My Annie! Ann-Na-Na! I was lost and now I'm found! Tell them all you love me! Tell them!' Backed into a corner, Anna was forced to offer an'I love you?' back

Daniel: ‘Oh MY GOD! My Annie! Ann-Na-Na! I was lost and now I’m found! Tell them all you love me! Tell them!’ Backed into a corner, Anna was forced to offer an ‘I love you?’ back

Daniel (to housemates): ‘SEE! I f**kin’ told yas I wasn’t lying!’

Anna: ‘Alright Bridget Jones, settle down. I’m here to remind you what we talked about before you left.’

Daniel: ‘YES! So you DO want to get married at Timezone? I knew you’d come around.’

Anna: ‘Not that you idiot, I mean the one rule we had: don’t mention me or our relationship on Big Brother.’

Anna's a saint. It only took her two hours to get Daniel to stop sobbing. She reminded him that he'd broken her one rule:'don't mention me or our relationship on Big Brother.'

Anna’s a saint. It only took her two hours to get Daniel to stop sobbing. She reminded him that he’d broken her one rule: ‘don’t mention me or our relationship on Big Brother.’

Daniel:'I couldn't help it my love. I was Jack without my Rose. Your rejection was the iceberg and this house my watery grave. Tell me my darling, is there room on that hardwood door for one mor...'

Daniel: ‘I couldn’t help it my love. I was Jack without my Rose. Your rejection was the iceberg and this house my watery grave. Tell me my darling, is there room on that hardwood door for one mor…’

Daniel: ‘I couldn’t help it my love. I was Jack without my Rose. Your rejection was the iceberg and this house my watery grave. Tell me my darling, is there room on that hardwood door for one mor…’

Big Brother: ‘DANIEL! RATINGS!’

Jeez. Anna’s tolerant. She patiently sat through another half hour of Daniel’s amateur poetry without once letting the poor bugger down. 

Good call. Better to pull the rug out when you’re face-to-face. 

At a certain point Big Brother had to just let the ratings go. Daniel wasn't going to stop

At a certain point Big Brother had to just let the ratings go. Daniel wasn’t going to stop

 Pleasure and Pain

Finally! Well, it took them three weeks, but Channel Seven has finally learned that you never go full sob-fest. For the first time since week one, the grocery challenge returned to the well of mild consensual torture

Finally! Well, it took them three weeks, but Channel Seven has finally learned that you never go full sob-fest. For the first time since week one, the grocery challenge returned to the well of mild consensual torture

Well, it took them three weeks, but Channel Seven has finally learned that you never go full sob-fest.

For the first time since ‘glory hole’ week, the grocery challenge returned to the well of mild consensual torture. 

‘Housemates, you have twenty minutes to complete all of my humiliating tasks. Win and you get $250 for groceries. Lose, and you’re on basic rations’ he said.

First up was Kieran, who nearly died eating five hot chillies. Brilliant.

'Housemates, you have twenty minutes to complete all of my humiliating tasks. Win and you get $250 for groceries. Lose, and you're on basic rations' he said

 ‘Housemates, you have twenty minutes to complete all of my humiliating tasks. Win and you get $250 for groceries. Lose, and you’re on basic rations’ he said

First up was Kieran, who nearly died eating five hot chillies. Brilliant.

First up was Kieran, who nearly died eating five hot chillies. Brilliant.

And whoever came up with the idea to put muscle compressors on Sarah and Mat and force them to thread a needle is a GENIUS.

This show works best when it plays Jackass but with unqualified, untrained flops instead of qualified, overpaid skateboarders.

Elsewhere, Chad had to eat Weet-Bix without milk (‘Duh-doyy. That’s how The Chad eats them anyway. Doyy’) and Daniel and Hannah had to blow balloons until they popped in their face. Again. BRILLIANT.

GENIUS! And whoever came up with the idea to put muscle compressors on Sarah and Mat and force them to thread a needle is a GENIUS

GENIUS! And whoever came up with the idea to put muscle compressors on Sarah and Mat and force them to thread a needle is a GENIUS

Eviction Challenge 

Eviction Challenge: IT SUCKED WHO CARES

Eviction Challenge: IT SUCKED WHO CARES

IT SUCKED WHO CARES.

Daniel and Xavier won and nominated Hannah and Sophie – the remaining housemates are too thick for strategy and are now just aligned by gender. 

Daniel and Xavier won and nominated Hannah and Sophie - the remaining housemates are too thick for strategy and are now just aligned by gender

Daniel and Xavier won and nominated Hannah and Sophie – the remaining housemates are too thick for strategy and are now just aligned by gender

You Chad Me At Hello  

International embarrassment: This triggered Chad to burst into tears at the thought of losing his ride-or-die Sophie: 'We laugh together and joke around an' that. She's like a sister but who is hot or whatever?'

International embarrassment: This triggered Chad to burst into tears at the thought of losing his ride-or-die Sophie: ‘We laugh together and joke around an’ that. She’s like a sister but who is hot or whatever?’

This triggered Chad to burst into tears at the thought of losing his ride-or-die Sophie.

‘We laugh together and joke around an’ that. She’s like a sister but who is hot or whatever?’ he tried to explain.

You can’t be too mad at him, the poor bloke started bawling last week when he found out Paw Patrol might be cancelled in the wake of police backlash.

‘I’m having a ruff day, Soph!’

You can't be too mad at him, the poor bloke started bawling last week when he found out Paw Patrol might be cancelled in the wake of police backlash: 'I'm having a ruff day, Soph!'

You can’t be too mad at him, the poor bloke started bawling last week when he found out Paw Patrol might be cancelled in the wake of police backlash: ‘I’m having a ruff day, Soph!’

The boys tried to calm down Chad by insisting they had the numbers, but it only got me more riled up.

‘What do you mean they have the numbers? You can own numbers? What are you going to do with them?’

There was more strategy rubbish staged by the producers, and then Hannah got the boot.

‘Take that as a warning!’ yelled Chad. ‘We have the numbers!’

Bye! There was more strategy rubbish staged by the producers, and then Hannah got the boot

Bye! There was more strategy rubbish staged by the producers, and then Hannah got the boot

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